i have been thinking about when i wanted to end this blog and begin documenting my life with david. i thought about beginning once we got engaged, or waiting til we got married, but i feel like our official story really began tonight, at the temple.

in ten days i get to marry my best friend for time and all eternity. i get to be with him beyond this life. i get to start an eternal family with him, i get to be his queen. 

i know words will never do justice to the gratitude and love that i feel towards him, but i will try anyway.

to david:

just when i thought i couldn't love you any more, i do. you are my soul mate, you are my other half, you are truly the love of my life and beyond. and i can't wait for our eternity.

please continue to follow us on our journey together here.

 today was a great day.

i woke up and made myself some eggs, 

i dropped my car off at the dealer and picked out a little (or maybe not so little) something something i want come august (hint: it's white and sparkly and has four wheels),

i dominated my book of mormon final,

i went to the joseph smith building distribution center with david and bought all things white,

david and i went to chipotle and had a delicious burrito bowl, 

i spent 3 hours at forever21 and bought a huge bag of seriously cute modest clothing, 

david then took me to the at&t store and bought me an iphone!!!

victory. huge huge huge victory. i have basically been phoneless since thanksgiving, and now i have a beautiful iphone 4 that does the coolest things. 

we finished off the night with kevin and kurt and making a better than sex cake (not like i ate any) and now david and i are snuggled on the couch watching gossip girl.

to say i'm happy would be a vast understatement.

to quote batman, the night is always darkest just before the dawn. and this phrase is incredibly applicable to our engaged life this past week. my hormone unbalance took me over and turned me into a hot mess for about 6 straight days, but after a lot of praying, a priesthood blessing from my man, and the most amazing bridal shower ever, i am so so thankful for everything that i am blessed with.

for this man (my husband in 12 days), who saves me every single day:

for these girls (plus everyone else), who threw me such a gorgeous bridal shower (pics to come):

for this place, where i get to go on wednesday:

and for this man, who has taken care of me my whole life and given me the wedding of my dreams:

12 days, my friends. 12 short days.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- e e cummings. 

due to fraudulent charges (some person in nevada spent $80 on my card via amazon.com), my card has been laid to rest.
my blackberry is also now completely dead. won't even turn on.
so what do i carry in my lv bag, since i have no need for a wallet and no phone?
lipgloss.
hi, i'm 14 again.


other struggles:
david was accidentally charged for 6 suits by the kohl's kiosk.
we still don't have a dj. oops.
i'm growing out my leg hair so i can get it waxed...gross.
finals are approaching. yikes.

updates and thank you's:

- our invitations are out! seriously, thank you to those who took the time and effort to tell me you liked them and think they are beautiful. sometimes i get really discouraged, doing all of this planning by myself, and it feels so good to know it's appreciated and that my hard work is paying off. a piece of my soul went into those invitations and a chunk of my soul is going into this wedding.

- we get married in 3 1/2 weeks, which is very soon. and we're both really (surprisingly for me) calm. we're excited about it and ready for it. sometimes when i think about it in days, my heart beats a little bit fast and i have to take deep breaths, but then i come to my senses and realize that i am so ready for this. i am ready to be married to him. 

- our honeymoon is booked! cancun, here we come. we like to daydream out loud a lot about white beaches and breakfast buffets (that's just me) and sunshine and vacation. we seriously can't wait. thank you to my future in-laws, you both are great.

- we went to david's work party last night and won a tv. wooohoo! sorry i'm going to brag here a little bit but they put everyone's numbers up on the big screen and david's were about 3 times as much as everyone else' and it was so good to see his hard work pay off and have everyone acknowledge how amazing he is. seriously, i won the lottery with that guy.

- we are looking at wedding bands. i have had mine picked out since we picked out the engagement ring, but finding one for him seems to be more of a process. sterling vs. titanium vs. tungsten vs. white gold? 

- i just ordered the remaining 3 bridesmaids dresses on monday. 

- my wedding planner, rental coordinator, venue coordinator, and caterer all met at the venue yesterday to go over set up and the plan. a huge huge huge thank you goes out to pam, the caterer, who has gone above and beyond caterer duties during this wedding planning process. from finding the venue, to writing up a million estimates, to organizing the rentals, she is a lifesaver. if anyone ever needs an incredible caterer - pam from summit catering takes the cake. 

- speaking of cake, the cake artist informed me that she's started making fondant flowers for our cake already! sometimes i dream about this cake. it's going to be good and i'm going to eat a lot of it.

- i thought david was coming down with something this weekend when he slept allllll dayyyy long on saturday and sunday. he told me he was just overworked and conference was lulling him to sleep, but the poor guy is sick. all snuffly and headachey and sleepy. he took another 5 hour nap this afternoon. poor baby. 

- things are getting checked off, days are going by, the day is coming closer and closer. couldn't be more excited about it.

i think the reality that i'm getting married in twenty-five days is starting to hit me because i'm getting awfully sentimental in the most stereotypical ways. tonight i was reminded of the stories my dad would tell me and aenon before we went to sleep when we were little girls. looking back now, i see how truly a creative genius my dad is and how he could craft incredible, dynamic fairytales off the top of his head. he had this one character named bishop tortuga who frequented his stories. i can't remember any specific storyline really, but he was a tortoise who lived in a miniature house off of the i-15.
before we fell asleep, my dad would "trace my face", by brushing the lines of my face with his finger. he would tell me to lie very still so he could capture all of my features. he would sing scottish folk songs that his mother used to sing to him, while i slowly drifted off to sleep. more than the stories, more than the words to the songs, i remember the way he made me feel; like i was the most important, exquisite, priceless creature he could imagine.
tonight before david left, he touched my face and brushed my hair back and made me feel like i was a little girl again, safe and sound, tucked in to bed. and all i could think about is how grateful i am for these great men in my life who love me so much and take care of me so well. and then i thought about how infinitely blessed i am to have my david, and how i know that he will make our daughter feel just like my dad made me feel: priceless. and nothing makes my heart happier.

i woke up to this g-chat from my dad:

Craig:  Good Morning, my sweet girl.  Stay the course.  Have faith.  Be kind.  I love you!

i don't think i ever needed to hear anything more.

faith: the independent's life-long struggle.

 i'm pretty sure if i loved him any more, my heart would explode.