i'm excited beyond words. not because i don't love living here, because i do, but because i miss home.
i miss my family.
i'm mentally preparing myself for this trip, however.
you see, my parents are getting a divorce and my dad moved out this week.
apparently he is now in a ritzy apartment in newport with a bellman and a spa and floor-to-ceiling windows. i've been imagining him coming home from work to that empty apartment all day. bare walls, no furniture yet, no dogs to greet him, no welcoming voices.
it makes my heart ache.
i'm preparing myself for the new reality i am about to face: my home without my dad.
no more coming home through the side door at 2am to find him in his favorite chair watching tv, no more laughing as he snores and then wakes up and insists he isn't tired, no more purr of his mercedes pulling into the garage, no more laughing at our scottie's absolute love for him, no more summer nights in the jacuzzi, no more losing his keys/phone/glasses in the house.
and i know that my dad is still my dad and i will still have a relationship with him and he will still be around, i know that, but there is something incredibly unsettling about the thought of the house without his physical presence. home without my father doesn't seem like home to me.
i suppose this is just one of those life changes that are becoming more and more frequent in my life.
and i should be used to these kinds of things by now, but i am not.
i was thinking about the past two years of my life today and how hard they have been and how much i've had to adjust and grow from my circumstances. i was wondering when it would all stop, when life would calm down and i would be able to smooth sail again.
and then i realized that's probably not going to happen.
because this series of struggles is life.
it's real life.
welcome to the real world, princess emma.
4 comments:
all of that is not going away emma...remember the glass is half full.
Emma I am at a loss for words, why ?? It cant be fixed?? I am so sad. I have loved your mom and dad sence I was little and in the Murrieta ward your mom I adored and your dad was my siminary teacher :( Hugs to you at this difficult time emma please keep me posted!!
Kelly Sims Max
kelly, thank you so much for your kind words. i am sure my parents have fond memories of you as well; i know my dad loved teaching seminary. this is definitely an adjustment for my family but my parents are determined to maintain not only a civil but a friendly relationship. we've been extremely blessed that this separation is not in the slightest bit angry or bitter and i count my blessings everyday.
Emma,
I feel for you and your family I really do. I just want to say that I love you and your family so very much. Your family played a big part of my childhood, especially you. I hope that in this hard time, for you and your family, you can turn to the lord, for his comfort and love. Because he is the one who can comfort the best... I love you Emma, I love
your mom, she is my mom, I love your dad, he is my dad.. I'm always here for you, if you need to talk... Love you Emma, you'll always be my great friend..
-Andrea
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