miss emma.

i just blogged a couple minutes ago but i'm procrastinating a paper so i think i will stimulate my brain a little bit and go into a little more depth about my life and my thoughts in yet another blog.
it sure is your lucky night, my beloved readers.
i thought a lot about what i want this weekend. i think that figuring out what i want is one of the biggest struggles i have to face, which might sound silly, but it's very true. Heavenly Father has blessed me with a lot of opportunities to have pretty much anything i want, but i struggle with pinpointing exactly what that is. i overanalyze and i weigh my options a lot and it makes me incredibly indecisive and often times stagnant. it's hard for me to take that leap of faith and choose one path and one option, because i always fear i have made the lesser choice. i've made some unblogworthy decisions in my life (as all of us have) and i am no stranger to regret. i've experienced enough of it in my short life that i know there's no place for it in my future.
this year, however, i've been consciously and effectively battling this dilemma. i made the decision to live in europe for four months, i made the decision to be a print journalism major, i made the decision to take classes in the spring and i made the decision to end the most serious and loving relationship i have ever had.
in so many ways i am surprised at my own audacity and boldness. i am surprised that i, the world's most overly cautious twenty year old on the planet, made adult decisions like these. i am proud of myself and the progress i've made and the positive effects that these decisions have brought about in my life. i suppose that my surprise is silly, however, because i am never alone in decision making.
it's not my own insight or intelligence or wisdom directing these choices - it's a much higher power, manifesting His hand in my life. 
and that is all i've ever really wanted.