miss emma.

i'm thinking about where i was one year ago, and how i was counting down the days until my whole world would crash. 6 days. i remember crying and savoring every moment and not wanting the days to pass, and i will never forget the ache of missing the person i loved most and how two years seemed like an eternity. looking back on those emotions, they still feel so raw and i can recall the exact emotions i felt...utterly alone and helpless to turn back the clock. 

and isn't it funny how i can never fake a smile?

i wear my heart on my sleeve. always have.

any stranger could have seen i was crying inside.

last year, i would have never predicted myself being here now. 

last year, i expected to still be waiting for my missionary to come home now.

it's just so strange to me that my predictions are always completely off. 

i think i know myself so well, but do i really?

who am i to say i know what's best for me?

i'm starting to come to grips with reality and i'm starting to give up on planning my future.

take me one day at a time.

that is all i can handle.