miss emma.

i want to apologize if my blog has been a downer lately. i'm sorry for feeling sorry for myself. the only thing worse than feeling sorry for myself is having people feel sorry for me, and that is something i would never want to cause. don't feel sorry for me, ever. i am so lucky and i have so much happiness in my life. boat loads, really. 

tonight i want to discuss one of my biggest flaws, which is patience. 

or better yet, the lack of. 

i dated this wonderful man named david burton for about three years, and one of his most charming and incredible personality traits is his patience. his trademark phrase seemed to be "patience is a virtue" and he said it to me quite often because really, i kid you not, i don't have much of it. but he did, and he amazes me with it daily. like how he can sit effortlessly and wait for me to wash my face for 30 minutes every night. or how he never minds commercials, even if the season finale of 24 is on. or how he doesn't even get the slightest bit irritated when i whine and complain at the gym. he is patient in every aspect of life, and especially in his relationship with me, and so i would like to say thank you to david, for being the perfect example of patience to me. you are twice the man i am. in body and spirit.

i already gave my little sermon on faith, and now i want to take it a step further and chit chat about patience. when i was a little girl, we had a lot of cats and they were all black and i loved them dearly. unfortunately, we lived in a house that backed up to the wilderness, where coyotes lived, and we were in constant fear that our beloved kitties were going to get eaten. we would usually keep close tabs on our cats but occasionally we would lose one and i would panic and cry and fear for their lives. in these times of despair, i would pray that my cats would return home safely. i had the faith that they would, i believed that Heavenly Father would protect them and lead them home, all i needed to practice was patience. so i would wait, and try to get distracted with some other activity, and wait, and wait and wait. and just like clock work, my kitties always came home. but i was a much better person when i was 9 than i am now, and it seems as though my patience vanished when my hormones kicked in. but i'm working on it and making progress. 

i have faith that things will work out right, whatever that outcome is. 

just keep me in your prayers as i muster every ounce of patience in my body to let time unfold, to let things happen, and to let Jesus take the wheel, if you will.