miss emma.

two posts in one day? is it your lucky day or what?

tonight i just want to talk about crying, and how it hurts my face. i cried a total of three times today, and believe me, it wasn't pretty. my mom and my sisters make really ugly faces when they cry and i'm sure i do the same. we squish in our chins, it's just not cute.

the first two times i cried today, once in book of mormon class and the other on the fourth floor of the library, i cried by myself. it wasn't anything hysterical, just a couple glistening tears and a few snuffles. i held my composure, i didn't cause a scene.

the third time i cried today was a different story. right there in the wells fargo off of ninth east, all hell broke loose. hysteric tears were flowing, i was struggling to speak, the poor banker in front of me held my hand out of pity and offered me candy. she kept telling me i was beautiful, as if knowing i am pretty would make matters magically better. it was a pathetic scene, really, and a moment i'm not too proud of.

but this third time crying was ten times easier, even though i cried much harder. it's ironic, i know, but it was easier because of the man who rubbed my back and kissed the side of my head as i sat in that chair. he didn't care that i make an ugly face when i cry, he didn't care that i was causing a scene like wells fargo had never seen before, he just made me feel like everything would be okay because he was there and he would always take care of me.

and everything is okay, because he's mine and he's all that matters anymore.

after my sweet banker told me that if i ever "needed to talk" that she was there for me (she thinks i'm a total basket case and i'm not denying that i am), david immediately took me to gurus. no questions asked, he just knew sweet potato fries would cure all of my sorrows. i've got myself a catch, and i swear i'm not going anywhere this time.

i'm sitting on his couch right now, watching him eat organic tortilla chips and watch the laker highlights. he hasn't shaved in a couple days and he's chewing with his mouth open. he's wearing a flannel that's kind of fuzzy and makes me want to snuggle him all day.

he has my heart, and he truthfully always had, even if it's taken me a while to realize it. 

ps. i really think everyone should mind their own business. there are some things that you don't have the right to discuss, believe it or not.