miss emma.

i'm moving to utah tomorrow. 

my dad has a hard time letting his girls go. he loves nothing more than having all of his kids safe under one roof. he loves locking the door late at night and asking "is everyone home?" even though he knows the answer. i think he just likes hearing that his babies are sheltered at 6 rue cezanne. we drove to dinner together tonight and he was expressing how sad he was that i am moving. i tried to reassure him that i'd be back and then i tried to compare this pain of me leaving to college to something i thought would be worse. i said, "dad one day i'm going to leave and get married and then you'll really be sad" and his reaction was not what i expected. he calmly said, "it all depends on who you marry."

marriage is such a bizarre concept to me. it absolutely horrifies me. how can someone be sure that she wants to give a human being her entire future? her eternity? the lives of her unborn children? i suppose that i will know the answer to these questions when i'm looking for the answer and faced with the solution. but as of now, i am judging the man i plan on marring off of one criteria:

whether my dad genuinely smiles when i leave him for my groom-to-be.