Wednesday, April 15, 2009


i've been in the funkiest mood all day. and i know exactly why. i woke up on the wrong side of the bed so to speak...i looked out my windows at 11 am when i awoke and the belmont is covered with snow. snow. yes, i know, it is april 15th. this has to be some sort of sick joke mother nature is playing on me. snow. mid april. spring time. shoot me.
so i immediately got up and closed my blinds because i hate looking at that disgusting white powder covering everything and then i showered and made some delicious tortilla soup and watched some recorded american idol and biggest loser from the night before. before i finish my story and sound like a raging emotional lunatic, let me explain:
 i love my family. i love them so so so much that i could sit here in bed on my macbook pro for the rest of my life and try to explain to you my feelings for them and fail miserably. it is just not possible. they are my everything and one of my few constants in life and definitely the most amazing people you will ever meet. 
so back to my story... if you're not an avid follower of the biggest loser, i suggest you get on your tivo and record the rest of the season asap. it will change  your life. there is a father and son on the show, ron and mike, and mike is only eighteen years old. he has set the record for losing the largest amount of weight in biggest loser history, 145lbs. in 15 weeks. amazing. he looks so good an it just warms my heart. however, mike has a brother who is sixteen and still lives at home and he is huge. massive. probably close to 400lbs but so young. it really is tragic that he is limiting his life like that. but anyway, this week, mike's mom and his brother came to the biggest loser ranch to surprise mike and their dad ron and it was the most heartfelt, tender, emotional experience i have ever seen on television. i don't know if it's just because i understand how happy he must be to see his brother losing all that weight or if i can imagine the peace they felt when they were reunited, or if i was just super emotional because i'm pmsing right now, i just don't know but i cried. i sat on the couch with my chicken tortilla soup and cried tears because i felt the love that family had. like i said before, tivo the show. you won't be sorry and you will understand what i'm talking about. or at least i hope so.
needless to say, my day has been funky. one of those days that doesn't quite feel like a day in my life. out of body experience. 
you all know what i'm talking about
i thought about the future a lot. i am so excited for my future and i just want a little peek to see how things are going to play out. can we fast forward to september 2010 for just a minute? or skip to 3 years from now for a bit? can i just have a glimpse at my first child's face or maybe look at my wedding dress for just a second? and i feed this obsession by frequenting the anthropologie and ikea website, looking for decoration ideas for my future home. 
maybe i have a problem.
i'm going to lay off the housewares section at anthropologie for a while and i am not going to visit vera wang online anymore, contemplating wedding dress designs. i am not going to debate over red velvet wedding cake vs. white cake in my mind anymore and i am not going to stop by baby gap anymore.
i am going to be happy with this moment. 
right now. 
right here. 
provo, utah. 
apartment 252. 
because this moment is my life.

2 comments:

shawna henrie said...

enjoy the journey, the future will come soon enough, then you'll wish you could go back and do everything all over again...differently!

Jared and Katy said...

Hey EMMA! It's Katy Reeves (formerly Katy Slaughter) anyways this is TOTALLY horrible, but i've been blog stalking you for a couple weeks because I found your site through some other blog and I thought you might think I was crazy if you knew I read your blog, but now you do. ANYWAYS first I wanted to tell you that I love reading your blog I accutally look forward to it...you write very well and I love that it comes straight from your heart,you are so positive and have such a great outlook on life that it just makes my day! Second...I love to see how much you've grown up and think about how you, Aenon, and I used to all play together so long ago in Murrieta. Third...I just had to comment on this post because I am a HUGE Biggest Loser fan and I will admit that I cried too when Mike and Ron were reunited with his family...the show is so real and it changes peoples lives for the better and I love watching that. anyways hope all is well...and if you don't mind i'm going to keep "stalking" your blog! :)