miss emma.

my earliest childhood memories are from the teeny house on castinette way my family lived in from 1990-1994. i remember this house being huge, which it wasn't. i remember thinking the green carpet was such a lovely shade, which it wasn't. and i remember my mother's long, blonde permed hair, which was beautiful, without a doubt. on weekend nights, my parents would go out to dinner and a movie with their friends and we would get a babysitter and i will never forget watching my mom on these nights. my mom is a beautiful lady, no questions asked, but on these date nights, she looked exquisite and epitomized perfection to me. being only 3 years old, i distinctly remember looking at my mother and thinking that there is no way anyone could be more beautiful than she was, with her makeup all done fancy and that long blonde hair. to this day, my most favorite compliment is when people tell me i look like my mom.

throughout my life, my mom has been my best friend. she says i was born an "old soul" and i believe her because every memory i have of my mom is of her treating me as her equal, her friend. i've always known the relationship i have with my mom is truly one of a kind because not a lot of mother's can carry a conversation about integrity with an 8 year old. but my mom could, and she did, and because of our closeness, i've always valued moral fiber. i've always known that honesty defines one's character. i've always strived to make choices that don't compromise my integrity. i've always been a fiercely loyal friend and i've always had a deep compassion for others because my mom taught me well. 

when i moved up to utah over a year ago, i dated this boy that really broke my heart and then started dating a new girl. i ran into him at borders one late night and literally dropped the book i was planning on purchasing, turned on my heel and left. when i returned to my apartment, i remember sitting in my bedroom and absolutely sobbing to the point that i could hardly speak and in this horrible moment when i desperately needed a hug, i called my mom. she didn't say anything to magically comfort me and make my heart stop bleeding but she did tell me that it would be okay. and she did fly up to utah and move me home in the following few days, to rescue me from that heartache. and she was right, it was okay in the end. 

my senior year of high school, i missed a total of 40-something days of dance second semester. yes, i know, that is a lot of missed class but honestly, i just had better things to do. second semester was coming to an end and i was slowly coming to the realization that i had a failing grade in that class and i could not graduate unless my grade went up. yes, me, the honor student and yearbook editor, almost didn't graduate high school because of dance. my teacher was totally uncooperative at first and didn't understand why i was missing so much and in a panic, i made up this tragic story of how i was sick with some mysterious illness and unfit to attend class. i know, this totally conflicts with what i said earlier about always valuing honesty, but the situation was desperate and i have since changed my ways. needless to say though, i had gotten myself into a huge mess. my mom calmly came to my rescue and scored me a legitimate  doctor's note saying that he could not legally divulge my medical condition and then she set up a couple meetings with my guidance counselor who worked out a compromise between me and my dance teacher. luckily, i graduated on june 20th, 2007 and i owe that largely to my mom, who bailed me out of a sticky situation and continues to do so.

every wednesday of my senior year, my mom's best friend leigh would drive out here and we would all go to lunch. leigh has been my mom's best friend for my entire life time and they met when leigh would visit teach my mom and just walk into the house without knocking, which would make my mom uncomfortable, but soon after meeting they became the closest of friends and have been ever since. when i was little, leigh got into a terrible car accident and almost lost her life and my mom tells the story of how leigh's head was swollen to the size of a beach ball and the whites of her eyes were blood red. i don't know how long leigh was in the icu, but i do know that my mom was there for her through all of it. my mom was by her side through every step of recovery and my mom is still by leigh's side because she is a truly loyal friend, and that's what friends do. last week leigh came out to visit us and i couldn't help but think how lucky leigh is to have a best friend like my mom, someone who's there through thick and thin, someone who will have your back no matter what. and then i thought about how lucky i am to have her as my mother.

lately i've been thinking a lot about my own future children and the wife i will someday be. and i know it's a long ways away, but i pray that i will someday be able to accomplish what my mom has. my mom has built an incredibly loving family. a family full of completely opposite people who are loud and obnoxious and overly opinionated and flawed, but people who love each other to the moon and back. people who are ecstatic to be spending eternity together. and that, is why my mother is a hero. for creating this family, this home, and this eternal unit.