miss emma.

i went to lunch with audrey and caitlin the other day, two friends from london. they both have a bunch of sisters, like i do, and audrey started talking about how she thinks she somewhat knows what it feels like to be a mother, because of how much she loves her little sisters. 

i'm not a mother, and i don't plan on venturing down that road for quite some time, but i do think that the feelings i have for my siblings are directly linked to motherhood. i worry about them, i pray for them, i feel deeply for them.

in other words, i care for my siblings like they were my own. and in a way they are mine - they share both my dna and my upbringing, the very essence of what makes me who i am. 

today is eden's 18th birthday. 

she is smarter than i am. she is more patient than i am. she is inherently kinder than i am. she is a better person than i am. 

sometimes i think about my life and the heartaches, the sadnesses, the pains i've had to endure - all part of my growing up process. and then i think about my little sister, and want more than anything for her to skip those bumpy parts of life. i just want to shield her from all things sad and i want her to succeed in life and to experience every happiness, not the hardships. and i guess this is a slight snippet of what motherhood feels like - this deep yearning of wanting the very best for someone. 

to my little sister, i love you more than words can express. Heavenly Father put us together for a reason, i'm sure of it. He knew i needed you to be my example, and i'm infinitely glad i get to call you mine.